Humor 2012
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"I wonder what women will wear in heaven?" a woman asked her husband.
"I don't know," her husband said, "but I suppose you'd want to get the most expensive clothes, just like here!"
"That's something you won't have to worry about," she said. "You won't be up there to pay for them."
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The deacon was pulled over by a patrolman who walked up to the deacon's car and observed that a teenaged boy sat in the front passenger seat listening intently to his IPod while two women in the back continuously yelled at the driver: "You were driving too fast... You left the blinker on... You did a rolling stop... You passed on the right..." and more.
Instead of writing a ticket, the patrolman closed his book and started to walk back to his motorcycle. The deacon called out to him, "Aren't you going to give me a ticket?" The patrolman answered, while still walking away, "No, you've already suffered enough!"
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A missionary from another continent was visiting the Sunday school and telling the children about conditions in the country he served. "And just think," he told the children, "there isn't a Sunday school for two thousand miles. Now, you know what you should save your money for, don't you?"
"Yes," said a little boy, "to buy a ticket to that country!"
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The deacon's wife said to him at a church buffet supper: "That's the fifth time you've gone back for more fried chicken. Doesn't it embarrass you?"
"Not at all," he replied. "I keep telling them I'm getting it for you."
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The parishioner contributed to the beggar on crutches who was outside the church door every Sunday, but she couldn't resist the temptation to preach to him.
"It must be terrible to be lame," she said, "but think how much worse it is to be paralyzed or blind"
"That's right, lady," he replied. "When I was blind, people kept passing counterfeit money off on me."
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It was the little boy's first Sunday school picnic and he became lost in the crowd. His mother had been searching for him, when suddenly she heard his voice cry, "Debbie, Debbie."
When his mother reached him, she asked why he had called her by her name, "Debbie," which he had never done before.
"Well," answered the little boy, "It won't help to call out 'Mom' because there are mothers all over the place."
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Friday Study Ministries
PO Box 92131
Long Beach, CA 90809-2131
www.FridayStudy.org
Ron@FridayStudy.org
